“Don't put little notes in their lunch bag that say, "Mommy's watching you."”

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Don't smother your child with affection to compensate for not having a man.

Don't say, "You're the only man I'll ever love."

- Even babies know that's creepy. - Of course.

Don't put little notes in their lunch bag that say, "Mommy's watching you."

- People find those things. - I bet you behaved yourself, though.

If your child is a terrific hockey player and a gifted flautist,

Don't make them play the national anthem on the flute

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