“Local commercials for store-brand douches.”

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Turning bags of sour patch kids inside out

To lick them clean. - I got my money's worth.

And without me you'd still be doing

Local commercials for store-brand douches.

- well, joke's on you, because that wasn't a commercial.

I don't know what that was.

- I swear to god, you are the most selfish human being

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