“If they could be bribed, I would have won a golden globe”

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I trust award shows.

They tell me how much to care about different dead people.

- it's not gonna work.

If they could be bribed, I would have won a golden globe

For my lifetime original movie sister, can you spare a breast?

- so you've tried this before?

- and they were so offended, they banned me for life.

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