S03 · E06Christmas Special10:54 — 10:56

My parents divorced when I was nine --

My dad was long gone so every Christmas,

Colleen would bring her "friend" Mr. Schwarz over for dinner

And she'd make me play songs on the piano when she would sing to him.

Every year the dreadful moment arrived

When I would catch Mr. Schwarz caressing my mother's bony thigh.

And I'd say, "Eyes on the keys, Jackie Boy. Keep your eyes on the keys..."

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