“I have an uncle who's a cop, so don't even try.”

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That does weird stuff in bed because they think they have to.

If you're a gay guy looking for a beard, I don't do that any more.

And if you're trying to harvest my organs and sell them,

I have an uncle who's a cop, so don't even try.

Hey, we all have uncles who are cops, so just take it down a notch.

- No $100s. Small bills. - Oh, I knew this was gonna happen.

- Store policy. - Yeah, well, that's an illegal policy.

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